My Story
by LittleBlueMonster
Summary: Bella writes in a journal while waiting for Edward to return. What awaits the pair? Rated M for future chapters. OOC, future LEMONS...
1. Chapter 1

Bella paced the room she shared with Edward slowly, even by human standards. Her long wavy chestnut hair was twisted up in a messy bun, a distinctly worried look in her golden eyes. Bella stopped suddenly and turned her head toward the window to peer outside, trying to locate something, or more specifically someone. She saw nothing but the beautiful scenery, trees surrounding a placid mountain lake, it 's beauty was normally enough to keep her attention for hours at a time, but not today. Bella shook her head slightly and resumed pacing. Hearing soft footsteps approaching her door, Bella ceased pacing again this time facing the door. She knew by the scent of spring rain and earthiness that it wasn't going to be Edward, but instead one of her best friends, Jasper.  
She didn't wait for him to knock but whispered, "Come in Jasper."  
It was all she could manage, but with his vampire hearing he heard her perfectly, as if they were standing next to each other. The door opened slowly and Jasper peeked around it, his shaggy, blond hair looking like honey in the sunlight that was streaming in through the window.  
"Bella, honey, your emotions they're all over the place...do you want to talk about it? 'Cause I'm here if you need me..." he said just as quietly, the sincerity and concern evident in his voice, with just a hint of his southern accent shining through.  
"Thanks Jasper, but I'm ok. I'm...It's- it's just that...well it's not like Edward to be late..." Bella trailed off. She looked up at Jasper and offered him a weak smile, worry marring her usually beautiful visage. Bella hesitated, biting her bottom lip, before adding in a barely audible tone "especially not today".  
Jasper studied her closely, and he was surprised to find that if she could, she would have been crying. He held out his arms and Bella fell into him shaking and sniffling, while he rubbed her back soothingly. Bella took what comfort she could from his strong arms, all the while wishing they were Edward's. After a few minutes of Jasper holding her she felt a wave of calm confidence and love descend upon her. Bella usually wouldn't like Jasper to use his gift on her, but there were times like this that she was happy to accept his influence on her emotions. Bella pulled back and smiled at Jasper, a real smile that lit up her face.

"Thanks, I needed that."  
Jasper returned her smile with a stunning one of his own.

"Anytime Bella, you know that. Can I suggest something that might help?" He paused long enough to catch Bella's slight nod encouraging him to continue.

"Well, um" Bella watched Jasper with a slight smile on her face. She had never seen him seem so timid, almost embarrassed, it was endearing. Noticing her look Jasper gazed at the floor boards, his hair falling slightly in his eyes, definitely embarrassed now. "When I need to really sort something out for myself I write. I have this journal that I've kept on and off for years. I've also written fiction and history essays, but I'm getting off topic now... The point is... I have something for you." Bella watched him with obvious curiosity as he darted out of the room at vampiric speeds and was back by her side in an instant, his hands behind his back hiding his surprise.

"Alice Saw that you would need this so I thought I'd help out and make sure you had it when you needed it. I just finished it last night, looks like my timing couldn't have been better." Jasper pulled a rectangular package from behind his back and held it out for Bella. She took it from him and pulled the wrapping off eagerly, long since over her dislike of receiving gifts. Bella gasped and ran her finger tips over the most beautiful wood carving she had ever seen.

* * *

The design was simple, but extremely beautiful, a lone swan floating among a pond full of Lilly pads. Behind the pond was a stately magnolia tree whose presence completed the picturesque scene perfectly. When she had thoroughly examined the exquisite detail of the carving she noticed that not only was it a wooden carving, but the cover to a book. The book looked to be hand made and was bound in a dark, soft, mahogany toned leather. Bella opened the front cover and found all the pages blank with the exception of the first, which had a small message written upon it in a bold slanted script. It said: _' For your hopes, fears, and dreams. May it guard them well. ~ J' _

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Let me know what you think...R&R....I've never written fan fiction before....


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I hate author's notes at the beginning of the chapter, so this will be my last one. All the back story is from Twilight and New Moon. Don't worry more original stuff will be coming, I just have to get this out of the way first. See AN at the end for more details. Also this will be my only disclaimer, since I tend to constantly forget them...I am NOT Stephanie Meyer, and I do not own Twilight, it's stories, or it's characters.**

_**Chapter 1**_

Jasper watched Bella intently as she examined the journal and read his note. When she finally closed the journal she looked in his eyes and smiled brightly, projecting a grateful happiness, and a hint of love. Jasper let out the breath he hadn't ever realized he had been holding, pride lighting up his face. He gave Bella another quick hug, and left the room smirking slightly at Bella who had already located a pen and sat down at her desk with the journal in front of her. She ran her fingertips tenderly over the journal's cover once more, before opening it to the first blank page. She put her pen to the paper hesitantly, then pulled it away again, crinkling her brow and biting her lower lip slightly as she tried to figure out how to start her first entry. Bella put her pen back to the paper after a moments consideration and started writing.

_I__'ve decided to tell you my life story, to start at the beginning and go from there. At least what I can remember of my human life that is, the memories start to fade after a while...Anyway, my name is Isabella Marie Cullen, but I guess that's not really the beginning, in the beginning I was Isabella Marie Swan. I've always hated being called Isabella, I've always preferred Bella. So, I was 17 and living with my mother and best friend, Renee, in Phoenix. Renee had just gotten re-married to Phil, who had to travel a lot for work, so like a good mother should, she stayed with me while he was away. I could tell that she would have liked to accompany her new husband on his trips, but she never complained. Lucky for her I have always been very observant. I decided that it was time to take matters in to my own hands and exiled my self to Forks, WA to live with Charlie, my dad. I hadn't been to Forks for years when I decided to move there, and from what I remembered of the cold, rain, and lack of sunshine I knew I'd be miserable; but I wasn't doing it for me, it was for my mom. I was determined that I would do this for her happiness, despite that I was positive it would be pure torture for me. _

_In the end it turns out I couldn't have been more wrong...but we're not there yet. Back to the story._

_I had been dreading my first day of high school. I was convinced that in such a small town I wouldn't be able to escape the one thing that I hated most, attention. I was right about that, it was terrible especially since I longed to just fade in to the background, unnoticed and left in peace. Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse I entered my 6th period biology class. I took the only seat available which just happened to be next to the the gorgeous, god-like creature I had laid eyes on for the first time in lunch, the period before. I hadn't known it then but the boy, Edward Cullen, was a vampire. As I sat there he glared at me, his onyx eyes practically ablaze with fury and even hatred. I had never been so confused. How could someone I didn't even know, had never even spoken with, hate me so much. Later that day I found Edward trying to get his schedule re-arranged so that he was no longer in 6th period biology, but as soon as he noticed my presence he ran out of the office. That night at home I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and the rude way he had treated me in biology. I argued with myself all night but decided I would confront him about his behavior the next morning. However, my plan was thwarted by the fact that Edward didn't show up for school the next day, or the day after that, in fact he was gone the entire week. I couldn't help but think that his absence had something to do with me, I just couldn't understand how that could be the case. What was even more inexplicable was that I actually missed his presence! _

_Edward returned to school the next week, that's when he spoke to me for the first time, just a small exchange, pleasantries mostly. Then the day came that changed everything. It was an icy morning in Forks and somehow I had made it to my truck, along the slick streets, and into the school parking lot without incident, which was surprising considering my almost debilitating clumsiness. I was about to start walking to the building when I noticed that Charlie had put snow chains on my tires before he left for work that morning. I had paused next to the bed of my old red clunker of a truck thinking about how much I loved my father, especially for his simple caring gesture. I didn't see Tyler's van coming until it was too late, I was positive that I had taken my last breath, because when I looked up I saw the van skidding across the icy lot, heading straight for me. I froze, there was nothing I could do, no way I could possibly escape it, and no way I could survive the impact if I didn't escape. I closed my eyes tightly and before I could open them again I felt myself being thrown to the ground. I waited for the pain that never came and when my eyes opened I found Edward with his arm wrapped around me stopping the van with his shoulder. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I never would have believed it. I was stunned and relieved that he had saved my life, but I had so many questions about how he managed this super hero stunt. Questions like how did he get to me so fast? I had just seen him across the parking lot with his siblings. How could he have stopped the van without even receiving a scratch? He wasn't even out of breath. Of course he refused to answer my questions, at first telling me that all I had seen was wrong, when I knew better. After I confronted him demanding answers, he began to ignore me, refusing to even acknowledge that I existed. I was so hurt by his actions, and angry, I assumed from his silence that he regretted saving me. He corrected my assumption after some time, and we went back to being on speaking terms. Over time our conversations became more frequent, and all the while Edward displayed the most frustrating mood swings when he would talk to me. First he would seem genuinely interested in me, and then would basically tell me we shouldn't be friends. It was maddening!_

_One weekend I invited Edward to join some friends down at First beach, in La Push on the Quillette reservation, but he declined saying he couldn't make it. While we were at the beach Edward was mentioned and a few of the Quilette boys made it seem like he wasn't allowed on the reservation. That made me curious, so I pulled aside an old family friend from La Push, Jacob Black, to do some investigating. I didn't want him to be suspicious of my questioning so I tried my hand at flirting for the first time in my life, trying to charm the answers I needed out of him. It was surprisingly easy. Jacob told me some of his tribe's legends, one in particular that identified Edward and his family specifically as "cold ones" or Vampires. Jacob scoffed at the stories and seemed embarrassed that Dr. Cullen wasn't even allowed on the reservation to treat patients due to the stories. I, on the other hand was starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and this new information made so much sense. When I got home that night I started researching Vampires on the internet, but nothing I found seemed to fit quite right. Then I made the most important decision of my life. I decided it didn't matter. I didn't care what Edward was as long as he stayed in my life. _

_I was going to tell Edward my latest theory, but there was an unusually sunny streak in Forks and Edward and his family were not in school. Jessica and Angela asked me to go to Port Angelas with them to help them pick out dresses for a dance I was not attending. I agreed to go with them, there was a book store I wanted to check out there anyway. I stayed with Angela and Jess for a while helping them pick out dresses and shoes, but after a while I got bored. I told them I was going to go look for a bookstore and would meet them later for dinner. Jess gave me directions to a nearby bookstore, thinking she was being helpful. When I got there it was some crazy new age store that was definitely not what I was interested in, so I decided to try and locate the store I found online the night before. I found what I was looking for and started back towards the restaurant where I was supposed to meet with Jess and Angela, when I figured out I was being followed. I wasn't thinking straight and began to walk faster to try to get away, when my surroundings finally dawned on me, I was in an industrial part of town far away from the shops and people of downtown. I had thought I lost them when I came around a corner to find my escape route blocked, they had been herding me, and I had played right into their trap. I knew I couldn't run away, I could barely walk without tripping and falling would have not helped my situation, so I settled in ready to fight for my life. The men were advancing on me with various levels of drunken sneers on their faces, when the sound of screeching tires followed by headlights came whipping around the corner. The door to the car flew open and I heard the most perfect voice in existence snap out "get in". It was Edward, he had come to my rescue. _

_We drove around while Edward calmed down and then he took me to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet up with Angela and Jess. We quickly assured them that I was fine and then Edward took me in to eat. I guess you could say it was our first date, though probably the weirdest first date in history. We finally spoke about what he could do (his mind reading ability) and on our way home I revealed that I knew his secret and that I didn't care what he was. Needless to say He was quite stunned that my assessment was correct, but more so by the fact that I didn't care. That made him angry for reasons that I couldn't even come close to being able to fathom at the time. We continued to spend more and more time together and when the Saturday of the dance came around it was sunny and Edward told me there was something he wanted to show me._

_We drove to the end of the highway and hiked through the woods, just to end up at the most breathtakingly beautiful meadow in a small clearing in the woods. It was filled with wild flowers and sunshine was pouring in giving the whole meadow a glowing halo. I wandered in to the middle of the meadow, but Edward remained in the shadows of the forests edge looking at me nervously. He slowly stepped in to the sunlight and I saw something even more beautiful than the meadow I was standing in. He was sparkling, glittering like he was covered in diamond dust. It was beyond words, and I found my self breathless and gawking at his stunning form. I found out later that the entire time he was with me from the second he found out I knew what he was to even this moment he was waiting for me to run away screaming. I on the other hand just wanted to touch this perfect man in front of me. And touch we did... We laid in the meadow all day just enjoying each other's presence and sharing sweet, innocent touches. _

Bella looked up from her writing, the pain of writing of their first visit to the meadow was too much for her to be able to continue. After all it was the reason for Edward, being missing. In the almost 20 years that Bella had spent as a Vampire her romantic husband had never failed to provide her with some gesture to celebrate the anniversary of their first visit to that lovely meadow. Some years they went back to the meadow itself, if they were close enough, and spend the day in each others arms. Other years they found similar places to spend time together, dancing, stargazing, and just enjoying each other. Today is the 20th anniversary of their first trip to the meadow, and Bella knew Edward was planning some grand gesture, but he should have been back ages ago. He always started their dates early in the morning, so as not to waste any time together. It was now approaching early afternoon, and while the others were not worried, Bella was terrified of what might have happened to her love.

Bella watched the woods for a second more before going to sit down and continue her writing. Jasper had been right, it had calmed her down immensely.

"Thank you."

Bella barely spoke but she knew Jasper would hear her. She down on the window seat so that she could keep an eye out for Edward's return, and began to write once more.

**A/N: Sorry that took so long. I had something else written, then I lost it all and had to start over. Then life happened and I got super busy. I may not update very fast, but it should be better now. Sorry again. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are love!! :)**


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